


All That I Am

by jlstreck



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, Post-X3, Protective Wolverine, Redemption, Triggers, after that it's safe, nothing is going as planned, trigger warning in prologue, xavier's school for the gifted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 12:43:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8208434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlstreck/pseuds/jlstreck
Summary: Two years after X3 the residents of the mansion are trying to piece their lives back together and continue Xavier’s legacy. Will an unexpected reunion help the healing or tear one of their own apart for good. 
Inspired by Rob Thomas' All That I Am





	1. Prologue

Sitting at their usual table in the local bar, Jack watched their waitress. Being friends with the owner, he knew the girl had appeared alone and desperate for work several months ago. The girl was quiet, but friendly and he had immediately decided she would be his.

Continuing to stare as she approached with a fresh pitcher of beer, the burly thirty year old decided he’d waited long enough. She was the first woman to refuse him and he was certain she was just playing hard to get.

Setting the beer on the table, she smiled sweetly and asked, “Anything else I can get for you boys?”

“Nah, why don’t you just join us for a few minutes? I’m sure Paul won’t mind.” Jack patted the empty seat beside him before draping his arm over the back.

“No thanks, I’m still on the clock.” As she stepped back, he could see the fear in her eyes. Well, if that was how it was going to be he’d give her a reason to be afraid.

Capturing her wrist before she could get out of reach, he jerked her back toward the table. “Like I said, honey, Paul won’t mind. You know we’re good friends and he expects all his girls to play nice with me.”

Giving a sharp tug on her wrist, he pulled the girl into his lap. Taking a moment to look around the room, he noticed the few other patrons were making a point to avoid watching and the owner had stepped into the back. Good, no one would interfere.

Wrapping his arm around the brunette’s waist, he pulled her tight against him. The thrill of pursuit and her body pressed against him created an intense feeling of arousal. The more she struggled against his hold, the tighter he pulled her into him.

Finally stilling, the girl appeared to accepting her position.

“Please.” Her quiet voice quavered. “Just let me get back to work.”

Reaching his free arm around her, he stroked her thigh, running his hands to the hem of her denim skirt. Stubbornly taking her trembling at his touch as a sign of pleasure, he started moving her skirt higher up her leg.

“Please, let me go. I don’t want this.” A sob broke loose from the girl, serving only to infuriate him.

Getting a good grip on her arm, Jack pulled them roughly up from the seat. “Like hell you don’t.” Despite her continued struggles, he pulled her toward the door while the few other people pretended not to watch.

Glancing back to his buddies, he called, “Don’t drink all the beer boys. I’m going to take the little princess outside and show her what she’s been missing.”

Crossing the parking lot quickly, he jerked the waitress around to face him next to his truck. Before she could open her mouth, he slammed her roughly against the cab of his truck and covered her mouth with his.

The kiss was brutal, he may have wanted to seduce her at one point, but her refusal infuriated him. Didn’t she know who he was? This was his town. He could have any woman he wanted.

Feeling her unwillingness to respond, Jack reached between them tugging roughly at her shirt, pulling it free from the waist of her skirt. Once freed, he shoved is thick calloused fingers under the material until he reached the smooth texture of her bra. Forcing the bra up, he squeezed her breast roughly.

His mouth muffled her scream of pain, but he took satisfaction in it. Taking his mouth away, he gripped her throat with his free hand. “Scream again and you’ll regret it. You wouldn’t want to draw attention.”

The bar patrons may be quiet, but the last thing he needed was some random idiot passing by and trying to interfere. Confident that the little slut would stay quiet, Jack removed the hand from her throat.

Lowering his hand, he quickly unbuckled his belt and unfastened his jeans. Groaning as the cool night air hit his erection, he involuntarily squeezed her breast once again.

Stroking himself, he growled at the girl. “All this is about to be yours, honey. It’ll be the best fuck of your life.”

Hiking her skirt up around her waist, he roughly shoved her panties aside as she tried to claw at his neck. Throwing his head back, he laughed at the weak female’s attempts to hurt him.

“Keep tryin’ doll. What do you think you can do to me? I’m too strong for a little mouse like you to do any damage.”


	2. All That I Destroyed

Near dusk, a lone form leaned against a tree on the outskirts of the mansion’s yard. Smoke from his cigar caught on the gentle breeze. His sensitive ears picked up the sounds of the students and faculty inside the school.

This time of day usually found them gathered in the rec room cutting loose after a long day of school and training; however, it always found him alone against the tree.

Two years had passed since the lives of everyone at the school turned upside down. Two years had gone by since he lost the only person that really mattered.

Everyone but Ororo seemed surprised that he’d stayed. They’d expected him to be gone by morning. Grant it, he almost was. He thought he could walk away and not look back, but as he packed his duffle, he could hear the students talking.

They were scared; hell, they were terrified of what was coming next. Ororo was strong, but with the senior X-men largely decimated, she couldn’t make them feel safe by herself.

He swore he only meant to stay long enough for her to get things running smoothly again, a couple months at most. Two years later, he’d never left. Now, the lone wolverine was a fixture at the school, teaching the students history, fitness, and how to fight.

Initially, his solitary evenings against the tree were an escape from the chaos within the walls. Eventually he realized it was more about making sure no one could get in and hurt those within. Everyone was safe to relax as long as the wolverine stood watch. This was his penance for destroying everything.

Despite Ororo and Hank’s arguments, Logan blamed himself. He should have stopped Scott from disappearing to Alkali Lake alone. He should have listened to Professor X about Jean. He should have made Marie realize that even if Bobby was too stupid to appreciate her that someone did. Then, just maybe, the four of them would still be here and life would be as normal as it got for a bunch of mutants.

Before Logan’s thoughts could spiral further downward, a quietly masculine voice interrupted. “None of it was your fault. As much as you wish otherwise, they all made their choices.”

Looking up at his visitor, he rolled his eyes. “Just can’t help but listen in, can ya doc?” Dr. Alexander Johansson joined the school as their physician shortly after the events at Alcatraz.

As luck would have it, the Swedish native was a supporter of Professor Xavier’s mission and wanted to help. Only the fear that his overtures would be unwelcome prevented him from taking the first plane to New York after hearing about the losses suffered by Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.

Taking Hank’s assurances, Alex had packed up everything he owned and joined the Ambassador on his trip back to the U.S. Overall his reception at the school had been warm and inviting, Hank’s recommendation of his qualifications was more than enough for Ororo. Only Logan was slow to warm to him.

“You know I try not to invade your privacy, but I find that when you are dwelling on your perceived guilt you project your thoughts quite loudly.” The doctor leaned his tall frame against a tree opposite Logan, his blue eyes watching his companion carefully.

“We’ve been through this before, doc. You see it your way and I see it mine. I should have been able to protect them, especially her. I promised her I’d always be there, but I was so absorbed in myself that I let her down when she needed me most.”

The grief in his voice spoke volumes. With no one capable of using Cerebro, their efforts to find Marie were in vain. Logan still worried about what might have happened to her, alone and without her power to help protect her.


	3. All That I Owe

The following day started like many others, the skies were a dull grey as students scurried through the building to avoid being late for class. Logan waited at the door, dressed in sweats and a fitted white tank; he was ready to lead his class in their morning workout.

Waiting until he counted the full 15 students standing with him, he turned soundlessly toward the door and led the charge. All the students were required to participate in various levels of physical training with Logan. He kept a steady rotation of general fitness and fight training.

Though several students had grumbled about the former, they quickly shut up when asked how effective they thought they would be in a long fight if they couldn’t catch their breath. Within the first few weeks, many of the students joined the workout happily; many months later Logan often got training questions from students pushing themselves beyond the required activities.

Holding a steady pace as they maneuvered through the trees near the mansion, Logan’s kept his enhanced senses on alert. The morning seemed quiet enough, but he refused to relax his guard. He owed them that much, the diligence to keep them protected.

Setting a challenging pace, Logan needed to challenge not only the students, but himself. His ever present nightmares kept him from getting any sleep after his chat with Dr. Johansson the prior evening. Since Alcatraz, they’d expanded from only glimpses of a past he couldn’t remember to images of him failing those he lost.

Calling encouragement to the group behind him, Logan paused in a small clearing in the woods. With the help of several of the older students, he’d constructed an obstacle course designed to push them and encourage team work. Although the wolverine was still a loner in many ways, he’d accepted being part of something bigger and wanted to help the students embrace that earlier in their lives.

When the last student surged through the trees and joined the line of students he started calling out instructions. “You know the drill, count off one to five.”

The students quickly called out the numbers and he directed each group of three to a different location on the course. They would rotate through the six stations as he moved between groups giving pointers or occasionally making a challenge harder when a student got cocky.

When they last group finished their final obstacle, watched as they collapsed next to their peers on the ground.

“Times are improving. I might have to come out this weekend and make some new obstacles for you guys.” The collective groan from the class made him smirk. “Don’t whine. The stronger you get, the better chance you have of staying alive.” Before they could grumble further, he turned and motioned for them to follow.

A half mile out from the mansion the wolverine picked up the sound of a car entering the front gate and froze in place. The students quickly halted behind him. Looking back at his class, he motioned for the oldest one to come forward.

”Someone is here. Likely nothing, but I’d prefer to make sure of that before we walk into something. Lead the others back, but stay a few minutes behind me. Keep your ears open; if I yell make a run for it.”

Nodding, the teenage boy tried to look calm. “Yes, sir.”

Giving the boy a reassuring smile, Logan took off at top speed toward the mansion. Moments later, he reached the edge of the trees and inhaled sharply to catch any scents on the breeze. Recognizing one he didn’t expected to find, Logan stared at the beat up Honda Civic before breaking into a dead sprint.


	4. All That I Failed

Rounding the front of the car, Wolverine almost collided with the open driver’s door. He could hear shallow breathing and the faint sound of her heart. Blood and an overwhelming stench of booze and another man tainted the scent he’d recognized at the tree line.

  
Stepping around the door, he found Marie’s crumpled form on the ground. Nasty bruises marred her pale skin and tear stains streaked her face. Dropping to his knees, he gently pulled her unconscious body to him, afraid to cause her more pain.

  
Holding her close, Logan rose and headed toward the mansion door. “Hang on, Marie. I’ve got you now.” Climbing the steps, his mind screamed for help, hoping Alex would hear him.

  
Reaching the top step, the door flung open showing a panicked doctor and Ororo. Gasping, the weather witch came to his side. “Is it really Rogue? What happened to her?”

  
Following the doctor back through the door, he answered gruffly. “Yes and I don’t know. I found her on the ground by the car.” The nagging voice in his head reminded him that once again he’d failed her. He promised to keep her safe, not to let her get beat.

  
They continued the trip to the infirmary in silence. As Logan moved to set her on the examination table, her small hand clutched at his shirt. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear. “It’s okay. I’m not leaving you.”

  
As her hand fell away, he stepped to the head of the table so he wouldn’t be in the way as the doctor worked. Alex placed his hand gently on her neck to feel for a pulse, in mere seconds he fell back from her in pain.

“What was that?” He looked down at his hand then up to Logan and Ororo.

  
Coming to his side, she wrapped and arm around him, guiding him to a nearby stool. “What happened? What did you feel?”

  
Still staring as his hand, he mumbled. “It felt like she was sucking the life right out of me.”

  
Looking down at his own hand, still tangled in her hair, Logan looked puzzled. “How is that possible? I picked her up and carried her in her. I’m still touching her and her powers haven’t started working on me.” His voice falling to a whisper he asked. “Why wouldn’t she have come back if her powers returned?”

  
Alex thought through his words before speaking again. “I take it she took the cure?”

  
Seeing Logan was still rattled, Ororo answered. “Yes. She took it shortly after it came out and left here shortly after because she felt she no longer fit it.”

  
Though the wolverine refused to talk to him, the doctor had picked up pieces of Marie’s story from his head. Connecting the pieces, everything suddenly made sense. The battered woman on the table was the same one he blamed himself for letting leave.

  
Looking to Ororo, Alex quickly asked. “I hate to suggest it, but would you mind trying to touch her? I need to get a better idea of what we’re dealing with.”

  
Cautiously stepping up to the table, the woman reached down and rested her hand on Marie’s arm. A second later, she jerked back, tears in her eyes.

  
“Oh, Marie, what happened to you?” She may not have agreed with her decision to take the cure, but she had realized she couldn’t begrudge the young woman the desire to touch. Now she’d been robbed of that wish.

  
Understanding the meaning of the weather witch’s response, Alex closed the distance to Logan. “I’m going to get some thick gloves on and see if that will work so I can evaluate her.”

  
As soon as he was through the door, Logan scooted a wheeled stool closer so he his head was closer to Marie’s ear. “How am I supposed to help heal you if your power won’t work on me?” Hearing the doctor’s quick footsteps, he kissed her quickly on the forehead before settling in to watch every move the doctor made.

  
Over an hour later, Dr. Johansson had her cleaned up and bandaged. There was no permanent damage, but the locations of some bruises gave them a clear idea what Marie had been through. The doctor wasn’t comfortable giving a full exam without her awake, so the answer of just how far the attack had gone remained in question.

  
When Alex suggested they go get cleaned up and call Warren to watch her, Logan’s answering glare told him there was no chance. In one last attempt to convince him, he explained further.

  
“I seriously doubt she’ll wake anytime soon and Warren has been training with me since my arrival. He’s more than capable of helping care of her and can call us as soon as she rouses.”

  
A feral growl slipped out Logan and the doctor saw the glint of adamantium claws starting to unsheathe. “I’ll stay here. I’ve let her down enough times already; I’m not going to let her wake up scared with some stranger."

  
Surprised that Logan actually admitted that to him, he nodded his head. Walking away, he mumbled to himself. “Never thought I’d see the wolverine like this.”

  
Catching the words with his keen hearing, he called out. “You don’t get it, doc. I’m not just the wolverine. I’m her wolverine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has been collecting dust for a while, so I thought I'd put it out there and see what happens. 
> 
> I have 4 more chapters planned if there's interest.


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